Two Become One

It's one thing to have been single for some years. Going out here and there, but no major relationship with anyone. You are used to being with yourself in the privacy of your own home with your own possessions. But what happens when you meet "the one"; the perfect man/woman for you and you are contemplating marriage. There is a merging of two to become one. I mean you were one all by yourself and now you have to learn singleness with another being in your company all the time. Now this is where you begin to see your real self; maybe how selfish or selfless you are. It's a journey and for those who have been successful see the reward of the miracle of yielding self and welcoming the presence of another to complement them on this journey of life.

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The Dating Crossroad!

Ladies, what do you do when you are dating and you come to crossroad? Meaning, your goal is marriage, and he's not ready or not sure if he will ever be ready. Now you're open with each other, enjoy getting to know one another, he's a wonderful man who treats you like a queen. What do you do? You're in love and now it's the moment of truth. So, with his uncertainty, he still wants to continue seeing you. He desires to see more of you.

Does this seem like he wants to have his cake the way he wants it and eat it too with no commitment? Do you allow your heart to take precedence over the reality that he may never decide to marry you? Do you give him more of what he ask hoping he will change his mind? This is where many women make a mistake. They continue seeing the one they love, hoping that they can change him. This is where you must take charge of your life! Love yourself enough to end it realizing you deserve better than what he is willing to offer. Let go and let the Most High work it out. Is it easy? Of course not, but it will save you the struggle of working to convince him that you're worth it.

Again! End it! Take some time to heal from the hurt by doing things you enjoy. It wouldn't hurt to give a little more time in accomplishing your goals. Take your time. Never lower your standards. What you lose is because something better is awaiting. Give yourself to the one who desires to be with you because he just does, and is willing to do whatever to have you as his own.

Rebound Relationships!

I am awaken to why the majority people rebound, jump into a relationship so quickly after a bad break-up. They are afraid of being alone. This is only a set up for failure again. Why? He/she is bringing the emotional hang-ups from the past into something new. The wounds are still fresh and need some time to heal. "Time" to heal! Time is the key. Time to sit back and take inventory of the relationship.....why didn't it work? One must consider what must be learned so the same errors aren't repeated in the next relationship. One must really discover self by asking the following:

What do I truly desire out of life? Have I accomplished my goals? What do I like or dislike about myself? What makes me happy? What changes must I make to create a better me? What is real love? Am I ready for it?

These are a few questions to get us back on track for our own self fulfillment.

Love the Skin You're In!

When I mention singleness, it's about loving the skin you are in whether you are in a relationship, dating or not. Still, one must be comfortable with self. If not, locate the challenging areas and begin to work on them to bring order through self-discipline. We have the power within to create and change anything about ourselves, within reason, and I don't mean going to get surgery to correct the problem or enhance what you may think isn't enough. No. Take a good look at yourself and first thank the Most High for creating you in the perfect image that He did. He didn't make any mistakes. Now, if truthfully you need a lift, tone it. If you need to lose weight, work out. If you need to be healthier, eat right. Self-discipline can help us accomplish these things along with patience. Change doesn't happen over night, but consistency and diligence will pay off.

Singleness is simply being comfortable with who the divine created us to be. It's a time in life where one begins to discover individuality. Breaking away from the voices of Dad, Mom, grandma, etc. who fashioned and molded us into an image based on their traditions. So as we grow, our parents are the first teachers and we operate through learned behavior. That worked for us back then, to give structure or dysfunction, because they were all we had. But when we begin to seek for something more liberating as adults, then it's time to break the barriers built in our lives by them and go on to live life through our own desires. Not to strip the foundation of biblical principles and morals. No! Not at all, but to build our own life of singleness based upon truth. Even if that wasn't the foundation, began to discover it, NOW! We have the freedom of being, to find out what true love and life is all about. Discover the beauty of living in unity with self: spirit, mind, body and soul.

A Place of Peace in Being Single!

It took me some time to get here! I MADE IT! Spiritual priority is vital. The past few weeks have been a crossroad for me dealing with family deaths and serious issues. I am single again, but it wasn't easy to getting to the point of peace in this area. I've been through so many heartaches, heartbreaks in relationships and a failed marriage with children involved that I almost lost myself completely. BUT God! When I couldn't trace Him, I had to trust Him in all His infinite wisdom, because I was in the dark with no solution of my own. Years and years of pain and finally something happened. I just got SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED! I realized that I cannot change the past, It's dead like some of my relatives that made their transition...there is no way I can bring them back. So I must bury my past never to dig up the dirt again. I'm finally experiencing peace...OM Shante!

Singleness 2 B Whole!

Why are we so quick to get involved with someone? I'm guilty! I've been there before and even now being single for some time, I have my moments where I wish..... I think we miss out on enjoying being single and really discovering what we desire outside of the superstition of materialism because "status quo" is, you just have to have someone. No one wants to be alone. I know I don't, but it's not by any means must I have to have someone in my life. And some people will go through a stressful relationship just for the sake of having someone to call their own. How sad! I mean it's easy to find somebody, anybody, but when you evolve and grow, just anybody won't do! The challenge is, most people want a quick fix. So let's not judge the junky, alcoholic, etc. This also hits the nail right on the head when it comes to being in a relationship. We tend to build based on feelings and emotions-sinking ground. If we don't discover our true treasure that comes with getting to know ourselves, bringing someone else into our "broken picture" will never repair the damage, only add to it.